Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
