If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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