dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
