I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
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