My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
