Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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