I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
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