dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize