Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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