so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize