girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
