I think scott just propositioned me for sex
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
