Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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