thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
