Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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