He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize