He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
