oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
