I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
