You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
