I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
