i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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