her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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