Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Everyone says I win the strip club
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
