He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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