Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
