Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I need mimosas to revive my soul
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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