There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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