All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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