im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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