Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
