We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
