we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
