You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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