3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
