Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
