kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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