You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
i think my cat just said my name.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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