evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
