Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
