when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
