wanna go halves on a baby?
I wish i was in the wii world.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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