My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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