Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I have post one night stand depression
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