It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
