it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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