she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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