Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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