In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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