i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
The convent might be a nice break from real life
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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