Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
