Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
