you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
