i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I wish i was in the wii world.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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