In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
