that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
