I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
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