shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
