If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Too much gin, very little bucket
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
