come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
it's not cheating when I paid for it
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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