You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize