What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
