At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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