we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
