so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
